Quick Thought

Alright I am going to talk to you like a best friend, except a best friend would know who I am talking about...

So I feel kind of like a moron...Yeah, ready? Drama queen part of me is coming out. Again.

I mean I just do, I feel like a moron. I don't know why. I just don't know what to do. Honestly I feel like a middle schooler and I have the growing pit in my stomach. There is a boy that I like, duh! I like him a lot. Thing is, I don't know why. I mean I know why I like him. I just can't figure out why I cant forget about him. I have been ale to do this before, to totally forget about a crush, and it's a harsh process for me. But I just can't figure out why this guy has a total grip on me!

And it saddens me too because we don't talk to each other as much as I would like to talk to him. But we do talk. See that should be able for me to be like, "BAM! We don't talk, so forget you! Good day!" But no, every time I see him, just an instant rush of feelings run through me. He has this magnetism, it's been this way ever since the week before Christmas break. I try not to focus on him, but then as soon as I see him, BOOM! And I am just so used to seeing him every weekend now, I don't know what I am going to do with my life with not being able to see him.

I need to FOCUS! I need to keep trying to figure out what I am going to do with my LIFE and this summer. But you know it's just like from the poem The Philosopher, "Yet a woman's ways are witless any sage will tell."

I went and talked to one of my friend's and he told me that I should be able to show I can be independent and I can show I can survive on my own and that I am a strong woman. And everyone just keeps saying God will bring you someone Percy! Thing is I think I found that person, and I just don't know how to approach it. Honestly I have been alone for far to long and I would like to get in the field and practice now. Cause I was in the field for only 6 weeks it was interesting good little start, but yeah screw that. Basically I was independent even through that unfortunate period of time.

And I won't see him for three months....

By the end of this treacherous hell story I am going through. I shall have a play idea/story for my playwriting class. Oh there is just something about theatre in your life....

He's there....

Well I am back. And I just need to write because writing always makes me feel better.

It has been quite hectic since my last post on here. I went through a lot of things. Two of them being the Phantom opening and then Sophomore Hearing.

Phantom of the Opera opened wonderfully here at Liberty. I think we are by far the best college/school to ever put on this show. Our set is breath taking and our director cast/crew is tremendous! The guy who plays the Phantom is absolutely my favorite! He has been the best I have heard compared to the two times I saw on Broadway. And one of the Phantoms I saw was Howard McGillan. Our phantom's voice is just so rich, unique, and strong. Our Christine reminds me of a lilly, she also has such a unique voice, it's sweet and also has that Adele Rolling in the Deep tortured feel to it and she is just gorgeous! The first Christine I saw on Broadway made me want to throw my head into a wall. Our Raoul is just perfect for the role. I couldn't see anyone else play that role other than this guy, he really is a prince charming no matter what he does. I mean come on he was Link in Hairspray.

I keep remembering back to 9th grade at SCS. How I just left my old high school at the beginning of the year and I just started making new friends. I was with a group of like 6 girls in the hallway I won't forget when one of them asked me, "Priscilla if you like Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and all of that. You would probably really enjoy The Phantom of the Opera." I took her advice and went to blockbuster right before flying out to Texas Motor Speedway. I watched the movie at the track in the solitude of the lounge. After the movie was finished, I sang every word to everyone I talked to for the rest of the day. Iw as in LOVE!!!!

The next year for my Sweet 16 my parents had tricked me into thinking that they had bought me a car. And I didnt want a car because I couldnt get my license till next year. So I was pissed when my mom held out a manilla folder and in the shadow of the paper I saw the outline of keys. After a few bad words, I reached in to pull out my dad's van keys. I got confused and saw there were papers in there as well. When I reached in to pull them out I read the top line of the paper "TicketMaster." Once I pulled it all the way out I saw it was three tickets to New York City to see The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Yeah....major drama queen moment there... After running all around NYC the next day, night time had finally come. When we walked into the theater I stopped in the doorway, frozen when I saw the preset chandelier and broke down into tears. My parents tried to get me to move while hysterically laughing.

Now here I am four years into the future and I am involved with my first love. This cast is remarkable. They have blown my mind every time they go out to perform. I am so happy to be a part of all of it.












Now...the other thing...let me explain...

A sophomore hearing was the huge test that took yesterday. Basically a sophomore hearing is an audition/test. What you are supposed to do is find a playwright. Find a play by that playwright. Find a character that suits your own character from that play. Find a monologue from your character, and then research the crap out of everything about it. Once you have this ready by the time of your hearing you go before all three directors of the theatre department, you perform your monologue then they can ask you any question they desire. In order to pass this you need to score an 80, and you only get three tries. It's scary and challenging, but it's life, and the real world is just as scary.

I did Crimes of the Heart by Beth Henley, I did a monologue from Meg. I did not pass. I got a 70.
Most majors dont pass on their first try, which is uplifting in a way. I dont know what I did exactly wrong yet, but I know I wasnt in the moment when I was up there. And I know I did a lot of things wrong. I feel horrible. I feel like I let down my favorite professor/director down.

It hurts tremendously. What hurts even more is facing everyone and they all KNOW that you didnt pass. And there is nothing you can do about it except put on this mask and ACT your heart out. I almost broke down three times today in public. Once was this morning when I had to do the monologue all over again for a grade in class. Another was when I congratulated one of the boys who did pass and he said, "I'm sorry Priscilla." And another is when a guy gave me a huge hug in the theatre office, it was the first sincere hug I had gotten since I found out I failed, and boy I NEEDED it.

But this is what they call experiance. It's like Meet the Robinsons when they all cheered for him when he failed because failing builds character. But I don't feel like I wasted my time, I feel like I can do it again, and I can be even more prepared when I go in next time for the fall. I just need to find that perfect play and that perfect character. And I know I have to keep reminding myself God has a plan, what happens is best for me and He knows it!

But other than that it feels good to have somewhat of my life back. I can finally enjoy the Phantom and not have to keep reminding myself I should be studying my sophomore hearing. OH and the ENCOURAGEMENT and prayers I got from all of my friends and family when I asked them to pray for me. It was so inspiring and totally made me feel LOVED! Just read some of it!

"Oh course I will pray for you.. You will be fine, try to relax alittle if you. Love you...."

"I will definitely be praying for you! I know you'll give your all for the test!"

"Already saying prayers for you Percy! Our Lord will be there for you because you have asked Him to be."

"Imagine it going well about 100 times in your head the same scenario and it will, plus a deep meditation before you go in will help a lot with relaxation."

"I will be praying for you!"

"love you too Priscilla! i will be praying!"

"Im prayin for percy! I love you too!"

"Praying for you."

"You got it sweetie!! Love you!"

"You'll do great Priscilla! Just remember...And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28"

"Hey Priscilla...I will tell you the same thing I tell my kids...relax...give your 100%, you have done the best you can...the outcome is in the Lord's hands - He has a purpose and a plan for your life..trust in Him and whatever happens from there is the best thing that could ever happen to you! You will do great! Lots of love and prayers!"

"I will definitely be praying for you! I know that you can do it and I know the Lord will calm you. He has everything in His hands. So trust Him and give it up to Him before you walk in the room and His will will be done! I love you so much! I know that you will do so great!"

"I'll be praying for u Percy love you"

"you'll be great priscilla and while it's good to have God on your side and all of these fabulous friends praying for you including me; you should feel confident in your amazing gifts, talent and work ethic - these items are on your side as well. you'll be great! can't wait to hear how it goes."

"I'm praying, Priscilla!!! I know you'll do awesome!!! I can't wait to hear how it goes...love ya!!"

"Ok! I've already prayed for you- you'll do great, just relax a little"

That's right I have some amazing people in my life. Including my best friend Jaylyn who didnt leave my side all day yesterday! She made sure to keep an eye on me until I found out if I passed or not and stood in the hallway and waited while I went in for my hearing. Jaylyn is probably the bestest friend I ever had in my life. Also my parents are just so understanding and even if I did fail they are still proud of me for trying.

Overdue Blog

Yes this blog is way overdue I have just been insanely busy. Sooooo where to begin...

Well last week was Liberty's spring break. My mom, uncle, and I had planned a long time ago to go to NYC, but nope something else popped up. I got my teeth cleaned this previous summer and he told me that my wisdom teeth were coming and I would soon have to get them removed next summer or it would ruin my smile. Well as time crept by, I started feeling the boogers coming through. I instantly got scared and told my mom to make the appt. for Spring Break. Hence the dramatic change of plans in my spring break.

Well I was really excited to see if I could get a video of myself all loopy on drugs. That was a fail. I'm just NOT good on drugs, which is probably a good thing. The first dose of drugs given to me the outcome was funny. Something I do remember I saw my dog Maggie and I just thought she was overly adorable and I bent down to pet her. When I bent down I fell head first to the ground, dont worry not on top of Maggie, she got out of the way just in time. I stayed on the ground in a laughing fit. My mom tried to help me get back up and for the life of me I could not get up.

Then everything from there on is a blur. YES, I was awake the whole time. I was told during the procedure that I ranted on and on about both Justin Bieber and Josh Groban. I SCREAMED to keep my teeth. I kept saying "Pam," the name of the dental asst. that helped my dentist, for no reason. By the end of the surgery, I was crying hysterically. So no videos out of that one.



It did not take me the whole week to recover thankfully. I did not puff up like a chipmunk, only one side puffed up and that was the bottom of my left jaw were the dentist ripped my gum apart and broke that specific tooth into 4 pieces. My skin did turn blue which I did think was super because I looked like an Avatar character.

By Wednesday I was fully recovered and I spent the rest of my spring break hanging out with my awesome kids from Youth group. It was an awesome break. I swear the Kyker's House is the place to be! So much fun! Just saying. I saw my kids almost every single day. I got to meet new people in my youth, which they turned out to be pretty cool. For St. Patricks Day I took some of my kids to see one of the newest additions to our youth perform at a little cafe. He was really good sounds like a John Mayer/Jason Mraz mix.


But then you will never guess what happened!!! I got involved in drama...on St. Patricks night. HA! SHOCKER! Yeah, me a 20 year old got involved between a fight with a 16year old and a 17year old. It was pretty pathetic, and I just got super angry(which really never happens, how angry I got) and told them to figure it out on their own. It will NEVER happen again, especially that whole SITUATION. Weird.

But yeah I came back from my spring break to jump right back into the Phantom. The whole show is coming together beautifully. There are so many wonderfully talented people in this cast. The Phantom and Christine are rockin' it! And I am just so happy to be a part of it all. I know I say that a bazillion times. All I wanted my freshman year was to be friends with some of these people, and all I wanted to do was be INVOLVED with the theatre in some way!!! And Now I am! And every time I get the chance to talk to some of the people I admired from last year, I just flip out in my mind and thank God, because I am ACTUALLY talking to these people and we are FRIENDS! It makes me ecstatic! Plus I am growing closer and closer to one individual which is making me SUPER HAPPY. Yeah that's right SUPER HAPPY. ;)

BTW! Remember that one blog I wrote a few weeks about a probalem which I thought I was wrong on. Yeah I was wrong. Justaletchyaknow.

But I will go ahead and warn everyone who reads this blog in advance. I will not be posting till probably after April 13th. Because I have so much going on and I am having a HUGE test on April 13th, probably the biggest thing I will do in my college career, of course I might have to do it again if I fail. But I know two things will get me through that test. Research and PRAYER. PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER PRAYER! and a MIRACLE!!!

Tired...

If you dont want to read a negative blog...dont read this. Click out. Go on facebook and stalk someone, now.

I can't stick to the guidelines anymore cause I know the guidelines fell through for me.
No princes. Not even frogs. This figures. I was just wrong AGAIN.
Felt this way last year and my senior year, and I am stupid to even think that if it didnt happen then, why in God's name would anything change. HUGE dissapointment.

But I listened to a song today when I was studying my piece for singing lessons it came on right after, it was like a message from God. It made me happy just like it made me happy my senior year of high school. You might know it:

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight, out on the street out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my own breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

You can´t give up!
Lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
You never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.


Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.


Thank you Nickleback for making my life wonderful.


Oh and another thing some people scare me, because of their crazy bipolar attitudes. One minute they are talking to you like they actually like you and then when you see them the next day they just want to kill you. I am not very fond of bipolar attitudes. Because frankly you just make me want to crawl up in a hole and die. Yeah you scare the living daylight out of me! Nah!!


SPRING BREAK PLEASE COME!!! ONE MORE DAY!!!

Hmm...

I will have a more positive blog coming along soon, but...

Right now I just wish I had things a little more figured out.
I'm so bloody confused.
My brain is killing me.
Now my nerves are going through the roof.
I feel funny.
And yet I don't know what to do.
I can't feel this way and have screwed up vertigo!

Dear God please help me...


I am trying super hard to be more positive lately. And I doing a really good job. But I just had to blog how I am feeling right now. Just in case, something does happen...

I made a great Mary Joan video! I will blog about that tomorrow. I am to tired.

Physically, and psychologically...

COFFEE!! Yes please.

I WILL Hear You Sing Once More!

"The day starts, the day ends
Time crawls by
Night steals in, pacing the floor
The moments creep,
Yet I can’t bear to sleep
Till I hear you sing

And weeks pass, and months pass
Seasons fly
Still you don’t walk through the door
And in a haze
I count the silent days
Till I hear you sing once more.

And sometimes at night time
I dream that you are there
But wake holding nothing but the empty air

And years come, and years go
Time runs dry
Still I ache down to the core
My broken soul
Can’t be alive and whole
Till I hear you sing once more

And music, your music
It teases at my ear
I turn and it fades away and you’re not here

Let hopes pass, let dreams pass
Let them die
Without you, what are they for?
I’ll always feel
No more than halfway real
Till I hear you sing once more"

This is "Till I Hear You Sing" from "Love Never Dies", the sequel to Phantom of the Opera. Yeah kinda obbsessed with this musical at the moment too.

But I posted this song for a reason, because one I am immensely blessed, and two I somewhat have the same feelings as the Phantom, except I can hear my person sing anytime I want, haha. But as for LIVE music, I get to hear him once more. ^-^




So I am running on a minimum of 5 hours of sleep cuz I could not sleep last night. Why? Because Josh Groban's tickets for FOJG members were going on sale at 10am this morning for his "Straight to You" tour.

So I was antsy all night, like you have no idea. Here are my tweets and facebook posts because of my excitement



Yeah, I was a little nutty, and everyone was very understanding. So I got up, got ready in like 20 minutes, thats a record. And then I went and sat on the couch just waiting and talking to my mom. All the girls in my quad were just laughing at me because I am such a geek.

Then the clock struck 10. I had TicketMaster pulled up, and I was already on the page I wanted, but I wanted front row, and for some reason I got the fourth row. And I could not figure out what was wrong, who already bought all those bloody rows?! And I was yelling at my mom I was on the verge of insanity, and I almost bought fourth row tickets. I kept yelling at my mom, "Shhhh shhh dont say anything I'm trying to I HATE THESE LITTLE CAPTA PHRASES!" Then I went back to the first page and PRAISETHELORD I saw the front row package option and I screamed like a lunatic.((Huge shout out to Sarah too, if it weren't for her awesome step by step list in order to buy tickets, I probably would have been CRAAAAAZEHHH!!!!))
By this time my RA was already in my room waiting for me to finish so she could get me out to convo. I walked around all day, all through campus, with this geeky wide smile on my face. I am so happy, and I have some amazing parents that understand my craziness for this man's talent and wonderfulness. I am super blessed and super excited.

Me and my Mom. 2 front row center stage for the concert in Greenville, SC for June 7th 2011.



This will be a day to remember.

And for those who want to know the answer to this question. NO! Mary Joan does not know I am going to Greenville, (YET) she thinks we are going to Charlotte NC concert because I live there.

She will realize this all...this Saturday.

People are you ready for Mary Joan to meet Josh, because I think I just got a golden opportunity.
IF YOU HAVE IDEAS SUGGESTIONS FOR MARY JOAN'S APPEARANCE AT THE CONCERT AS TO WHAT I SHOULD DO TWEET ME OR FACEBOOK ME, I NEED IDEAS!!!TALK TO ME!!!!

Josh Announces "Straight to You" Tour

The Philosopher by Edna St. Vincent Millay

"And what are you that, wanting you,
I should be kept awake
As many nights as there are days
With weeping for your sake?

And what are you that, missing you,
As many days as crawl
I should be listening to the wind
And looking at the wall?

I know a man that's a braver man
And twenty men as kind,
And what are you, that you should be
The one man in my mind?

Yet women's ways are witless ways,
As any sage will tell,—
And what am I, that I should love
So wisely and so well?"

I performed this poem today for my Voice for the Stage class. It went very well! yay for adrenaline rush! And when I performed it I had someone very specific in mind, and I was very ANGRY performing this poem just like I was instructed during class. Though I wasn't angry at this person, I was angry at myself for being in this emotional state of mind.



Observations for the night:

-Just counted ten bracelets on my friend's wrist plus a watch. Don't know how he can take it, I can't bear a small watch on mine for a whole day.

-Just heard the most piercing scream come from my director, it was hilarious!

-How much the ballet troupe is flawless and they make it look so easy.

-I just had another person use my drawing I made of them as their profile picture.

-Someone ran into my car while backing up in the parking lot, even though I laid on my horn for the longest time.

-I love listening to Madame Giry and the Director practice their french accents.

-The severed head is now my boyfriend.

-Didn't know there were so many ways and arguments could be brought up about saying "ROME."

-I LOVE listening to Paingi and Carlotta argue with the director. Best quote from Carlotta, "Why?! Why do they pay attention to them? I am just as pretty as they!"

-This cast is super amazing and we could go straight to NYC and kick the current cast off stage.

-But the best observation I have made is....





JOSH GROBAN HAS ANNOUNCED HIS TOUR DATES FOR HIS "Straight to You" tour!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!

He will be coming to Charlotte North Carolina June the 6th.

Do you know what this means? Drastic measures! I already renewed my Friends of Josh Groban membership and that means that I can purchase my pre-sale tickets this Wednesday and I am so PUMPED!!! If is God's will, please oh please hopefully Josh can recongnize Mary Joan from the concert! How amazing and wonderful would that be!

But oh goodness, there is about to be an EXPLOSIVE video to coming up this Saturday about Josh's tour.